Why does it seem that the younger generation is a bunch of whiny, entitled shut-ins? It's mostly because of "smart" phones, and global warming of course. Seriously, do you want to man things up a bit around here, and hammer home some hard truths about winning and losing? Turn your family/friends/colleagues into the “greedy, self-serving punks" that they really are, and have a blast doing it? Just make sure you don't get caught with your pants down.
A'cool and creative upside the head smack of old-school fun. Only nineteen ninety-nine plus one cent.
Most of our memories of board games are centered around the family and friends we played them with – not the games themselves. We think ONEUPMANSHIP is the perfect 21st century accessory for any home, not only because it's an edgy, educational, and sometimes frustrating good time, but because interacting with loved ones in a real world social setting (without phones or computers), is an art we are quickly losing or have already lost.
Think about it: when was the last time you actually played Monopoly – with Gram in Palm Springs in 1998? Or finished a game of Scrabble? Chess is fantastic, but only two can play. Same with backgammon. ONEUPMANSHIP is a beautifully-designed multigenerational smirk, a sometimes soul-crushing hoot that should be welcome in any home, especially over the holidays. It'll cure your cabin fever too.
Put one on your coffee table (or under the Christmas tree) IMMEDIATELY.
"I'm just your average 21 year old, sometimes sober college student training to be a chef at the Culinary Institute of America. One of my friends recently told me about this new game he'd gotten called ONEUPMANSHIP, and how much fun it was. So one Saturday night we broke it out and played. I got the 'Knuckles' card and my hand is still killing me!"
- Jonathan Ikegana, Hyde Park, NY.
ONEUPMANSHIP is all about having a good time with family and friends. No it's not, it's about winning — pure and simple. Just kidding! Play the game like you mean it: Buy low, sell high. Wheel and deal. Then double deal. Live large. Lose huge. My building's bigger. 25 pushups? Boom. Boom. Boom. Trophy Wife swap, anyone? Indian Arm Wrestling... ha, piece of cake. Yikes! Bankruptcy happens. The first player to reach $100,000 wins.
"ONEUPMANSHIP is definitely a game where an agile, carnivorous attitude is your best ally. Pity the numbskull who expects a pastel plastic drive-through Game of Life, or a gentlemanly contest of fisticuffs by Broughton's Rules. This is a romp, a rollicking excuse for mad, mutually abusive annihilation. Twenty times better than beer pong."
- Don Stewart, Birmingham, AL.
"Hello, I'm Michael Martelli here in Salisbury, North Carolina. I'm just here to talk to you a bit about ONEUPMANSHIP, a game I had the pleasure of playing with my friends in the prototype stage. I like to call it a family board game for a grown-up family. It reminds me of Monopoly with a lot more depth, a lot more challenges, and a lot more nuance. If you like a fun, cutthroat game with an economic theme, then this is definitely a game you would enjoy. I highly recommend it!"
The mechanics of Oneupmanship are simple: each player starts out with $5,000, and the first one to reach $100,000 by either investing in the stock market, buying real estate, purchasing "trophies" or betting against the other players wins.
But wait: we added another dimension that takes the game off the board and into the realm of meta-game: "$ Cards" are personal, physical and mental challenges that are really about proving what you are made of as a human being. And they're meant to hurt.
We made a career out of bending, breaking and laughing out loud at the rules, so who are we to say you can't make up your own when playing our game? Go right ahead – House Rules rule. Side bets welcome.
For the literal-minded and sticklers, we've put together a Cheat Sheet that is essentially a condensed version of the rules, bada bing, bada boom, since some players were intimidated by our long-winded, big-words (and no pictures) instruction booklet.
So go ahead and download the ONEUPMANSHIP Cheat Sheet now – but don't hesitate to ignore it whenever you feel like it!
We've also written down some "Official" One Up! instructions which you can download right away and then discard or disregard immediately, if not sooner. N.B. By side bets we mean cold hard cash – no checks or IOUs allowed – or the pink slip to your car, house deed, first born.
Seriously, we hope you have as much fun playing Oneupmanship as we did making it.
ONEUPMANSHIP, like life, takes a bit of time to figure out. We like to say the first time you play is just for practice, and the second time is when you can really start to destroy other people's will to live.
Seriously, watch the video above for a quick overview. Then take a look at the "Cheat Sheet" that came with the game. You should be able to get started, and then just learn the rules as you go along. Whatever you do, don't get frustrated and annoyed and start cursing us – read the damn instructions. They're well-written, clear, comprehensive, and have just the right smart-alecky nuance if we do say so ourselves, to not only enlighten and guide, but to entertain too.
N.B. Oneupmanshipping on this Darwinian Master Class is $8 extra.
We'll take you back to school and teach you all the lessons you should've learned on the playground from Scut Farkus and his toady Grover Dill. Ha. Sign up today and get first dibs on our underground sales and specials, as well as the untold treasures of our Miltonic mind.
"Wit is Educated Insolence."- Aristotle